To preserve myself I was going to write about something a little less intimate but my calling to transparent honesty asks me to share very direct experience which is extremely vunerable yet I am a foolish woman who cant help but be intimate.
In my preparation for my copenhagen concert I felt that heavy pull of my womb to bleed , and I was totally exhausted but need ing to find reserves,the blessing was all these amazing people arrived to set the concert leaving me free to drop into my now bleeding womb into the blackness inside my body . From that nothingness I reemerged refreshed and tenderly open.However so deep in that I knew I was in the chaos so I dropped a glass of water over and near my laptop forgot my power cable for my computer losing all sound in the 3 rd song which left praful with a long long flute solo whilst I discretely got my adapter and reset my sound but it all happened with grace .Amazing.Always my body bleeds when I have a concert or a workshop as if the very gift of that kind of open vunerability is the mother's orchestration.So I have learnt to surrender even speak of it . It is such a hidden thing when a woman is bleeding she doesnt share it much accept with a sister or 2 and maybe her lover but if we dont start sharing how are thses men ever going to get over being afraid of it or looking negatively at it or perhaps even helplessly.
When I was a young woman I suffered enormous pain for it was the mother's way of reconnecting me to my body to bring me down and out of my mind. I mean it was agony my ligaments got so loose mty hips moved around bringing siatica and strong cramping, but as I learnt to rest and be stiller and sit with the earth the pain lessened.
Now my body celebrates because the opening up of the cervix is so potent that the universe is open in my body the door is open and I fall down into the earth I fall into the blackness inside the womb into this vastness. I see and feel and heal anything that has moved out of balance and alignment in that month. I am so creative with song and I am really quite outside of the world and time so of course giving a concert from that place is raw....but beautiful and potent
But the most intimate thing I want to share is the power of love making in this bleeding.
Now many women are afraid that it hurts or that this is just their time and of course that may be true for a woman too but I just want offer my experience of making love whilst bleeding.
This is a time for total tender listening when the penis meets the frequency of this open ripe plump oozing cervix. Frequency is strong in the meeting so it is a delicate thing that requires the utmost attention but because I am so open inside like the crack or door of the cosmos open then little movement creates enormous opening.For me I trusted the man I was loving or of course he would not be anywhere near me in such vunerability,surrender and breathing that meeting point starts to dissolve the doorway completely so there is no more doorway and no more penis just one black space that he and i fall into.How deep the dissolving depends on whether the mind is engaged or not.Especially in the man.I cant express beyond the dissolving because there is nothing left of me to say except that from there I am reborn.
A new concsious resonanceof love is vitalised in every cell.Such is the experience of make love on my bleed so I am just encouraging this ancient ritual to be reignited in the bedroom of man and woman and if you have had extraordinary experiences please share. Tommorrow a women's workshop in the Dakini Institute in Copenhagen,All my love
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