In the lushlands and the hell of relationship

Today was a lush day in the Norwegian mountains staying right next to a pounding waterfall with iredecent green forest and ancient talking stones. I have played like a child screaming, naked and newly washed and restored under these lifegiving icecold waterfalls.My daughter would have a fit because your mother is not supposed to be naked she is supposed to have nice normal repactableness like other mothers .I feel so clean and blessed to stay in these mountains in an awesome cabin graciously provided by my dear friends.

Today was a lush day in the Norwegian mountains staying right next to a pounding waterfall with iredecent green forest and ancient talking stones. I have played like a child screaming, naked and newly washed and restored under these lifegiving icecold waterfalls.My daughter would have a fit because your mother is not supposed to be naked she is supposed to have nice normal repactableness like other mothers
.I feel so clean and blessed to stay in these mountains in an awesome cabin graciously provided by my dear friends.

Talking of stones a deep theme of throwing stones at one another has been a constant theme last 24 hours sitting with dear ones in relationship.”you control me and I contract” “you are aggressive so I am defensive”, “You don’t see me”,’You don’t listen to me” ”I cannot feel your love” “I don’t feel love for myself”, Conscious devoted lovers who know the love is there in a deeper place but right now a living hell, no rest just exhaustion from the struggle.
Peru what do you see? The question of 2 who now stuck in the same old cycle. Now I know I have had to suffer through the perfect triggers that attracted me to the man who not only loved me but could also destroy me or destroy all the nasty patterns. Now whether I am destroyed or the patterns depends on surrendering to something deeper than a personal love. The closer you get to the core of the perfectly designed destruction of your mirroring patterns the hotter hell gets.
We get so addicted spending time together because in the beginning it was intoxicating pleasure, couldn’t get enough but once those nasties kick in asserting themselves at any opportunity this type of intoxicating pull becomes a memory of what we once felt and though the juice has dried up into a shrivelled prune ,it still has some life in it but the full nourishing aliveness is gone.Hmmmmmm how to break open this cage .
There is a point where words will no longer serve where once you tried to express your dissatisfaction and he or she listened attentively, considerately now he or she jumps in before the sentence is finished with his or her position.There is a point between 2 lovers when the answer cannot be found in words.For when two minds do battle nobody wins
So where is the answer to this somewhat global condition between man and woman.
There is a place to be reached where silence speaks .But not a silence of aloofness or resignation but silence of meeting yourself inside.If regularly a space in the day I go and be with myself for a time not doing but just being… whatever it is that truly reminds me of who I am then there is space more space within,more harmony where I can meet my partner in that silence.
So when we would normally drop into a superbly reasonable and righteous argument we stop and just meet eyes to eyes in the silence.
When I am in love with myself with the earth with existence how much easier it is to love the other with all his or her imperfections.It is self nourishment that allows me to nourish another.Just 30 mins or 1 hr in a day can change the entire way I relate .
So easy to see when you are not the one burning in the firepit of relationship.My love to all lovers…………………………………………………